The Sarah Conundrum

[Preface: it's true! I have been posting a lot lately. Blogging a lot for me is evidence of: boredom (see August 2009) or procrastination (see November 2009). I have yet to unleash, and hesitate even to ponder, the deadly combination of both boredom and procrastination. That might lead to multiple posts per day. I'm not sure if I ever want to taste that dangerous potion and I'm not sure you ever want to read the results of that, either.]

I'm facing a conundrum. This post was going to be a letter from god to Sarah Palin, in the same spirit as her letter from God in her new "best"seller Going Rogue: An American Life (available at Walmart for $14.50, what what!). But then I thought, no -- I want to give this book justice. I want to read the bad motherfucker. I want to live the quote, "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come he made them out of meat?" Or the winner, "Kid Rock, for instance, is very pro-America and has common sense ideas."

I thought blogging about a book I hadn't read would be too similar to running for VP without first understanding basic tenets of our system of government. I'm not that kinda guy. But then I thought, well I don't want to actually buy her book. And I surely don't want to get it from that communist crock-of-shit library in scary, ghetto downtown Minneapolis (kidding, of course, this guy is a lifelong Book-It participant, even if Pizza Hut no longer honors my reading log minutes; I'm over it though, no worries -- I outgrew personal pan pizzas years ago.). I don't really want to get it from Barnes & Noble or Borders either out of fear that I might see someone I know and have to quick grab a New Yorker or a Chuck Klosterman book to hid my shameful literary find. I honestly think that I'm left no other choice -- Walmart, here I come. Sarah, I can't wait to understand you, know you, fear you!