Well, How Did I Get Here?

We all find ourselves in different situations where we ask ourselves, "Well, how did I get here?" I know David Byrne wondered this. I'm sure you have too. One interesting (and gentle combination of self-realization and self-justification) approach to answering this question is to take a Meyers-Briggs personality test (take one here). It's a stretch to justify a large chunk of life through the lens of a 15 minute online questionnaire. It's also hard not to feel like a high school career counselor when espousing such a test. But whatever, as you'll find out, I'm an INTJ and therefore don't put a lot of stock into "feelings." And so it goes.

Introvert
iNtuitive
Thinker (though not a stinker)
Judging

This is me. After reading more about this type (here, here, here) I've come to the conclusion that this characterization is apt. But, then again, maybe it's because as an INTJ and it's my "just my type" to come to this conclusion. Too confusing! This is why I went into engineering/law and not psychology. I like answers (and employment). And it fulfills the aspirational career goals of my type. Though, as a non-conformist/anti-authority figure (while maintaining an facade of conformity on the surface), I should really rail against this type of generalization. But I won't (probably the whole 'conformity on the surface' thing creeping up again).

Some of the traits I'm supposed to possess are complementary and, thus, obviously fitting:

• Self-confidence and knowledge when it comes to a specific field, usually esoteric (transmission-line speakers, headphones, vinyl records, energy policy, Iguanadon (killer thumbs!), and, more recently, vintage typewriters)
• "Do" what they "know" (engineer/lawyer, yup)
• Introspective, analytical, intellectual (sometimes?)

But, along with every good thing comes the bad. The yin to the yang. Dark to light. The next morning to the previous night's Taco Bell. The unpleasant truths.

• Don't grasp social "rituals" like small talk and flirtation (yikes! But, true. I often find myself asking, "Why am I talking to this person?" "What function does it serve?" But I'm not a robot. I has gots feelings too....)
• Personal relationships, especially romantic ones can be INTJ's "Achilles Heel" (low blow)
• Perfectionist (ok, I know this is what bad career counselors say to list as a "weakness" when potential employers ask during interviews, so I feel a bit shady putting this down as a downside in my next-day TB diarrhea category. But I think the INTJ analysts consider it a weakness more than a strength, so that's why it landed here. But I would never say that being a perfectionist is a true, true downside. Everything in moderation. I also like lists of three, so I needed the third prong to fill in the gap. So maybe by scoffing at this point, I'm also reinforcing it subconsciously. Shit.)

A bit of faith (another thing INTJ's suck at, apparently) is required and honesty (the record is silent here) should be a guide when answering the questions. In the end, I'd say that this test is partly a self-fulfilling prophecy and partly, slightly revealing. It's definitely something where the grabby traits (quiet leader, intellectual, the like) make you say, "Yeah, that is totally me." And the not-so-grabby traits (not physically affectionate, familiar with darkside (what does this even mean?), etc) make you say, "Eh, not so much?" But if you're being honest with yourself, I think it's a pretty genuine measure. I kind of wish that people wore name tags or were required to get face tattoos displaying their Meyers-Briggs personality type. It would make life a lot easier, not to mention cutting down on the small talk/flirting I hate. But there I go again, typical INTJ, wanting "people to make sense."